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1000 Questions asks eight earth-shattering technology questions of today's most compelling personalities.

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Robert Llewellyn
Edited by Brian Dunning

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Robert Llewellyn and Lisa Rogers on Junkyard WarsAmericans know him as the host of TLC's Junkyard Wars (aka Scrapheap Challenge), and the rest of the world know him as Kryten, the neurotic android aboard the Red Dwarf. He prefers playing Kryten, since Junkyard Wars requires him to spend about 2 hours each day covering his naturally faceted countenance with latex and false stubble to give the rounder, more humanlike appearance as seen on Junkyard Wars.

Robert Llewellyn as Kryten on Red DwarfAfter kick-starting himself as a member of a comedy troupe called The Joeys, Robert penned a number of BBC comedy shows and theater pieces. He's also written several novels that are inching their way toward film production, including The Man on Platform 5 and Punchbag.

To learn more about Robert, have a look at his autobiographical memoirs of a misspent youth, Thin He Was and Filthy-Haired. But he was never so filthy as when he answered our 1000 Questions:

0001. In all of history, what is your favorite invention?

Waterproof shoes.

0010. What do you hope will be invented next?

Waterproof laptops.

0011. What do you hope will never be invented?

An all seeing, all consuming mind controlling computer which uses human beings as its power source, running Windows 98.

0100. What popular invention do you consider the most ridiculous?

Penis enlargement pumps.

0101. If marooned on a desert island, what three technological devices would you bring with you, and why?

A JCB JS460 Tracked Excavator, fantastic machine. Basically a very big digger, it's powerful with a 6 cylinder turbocharged and intercooled engine developing 305hp, the bucket can tear about a ton and a half of solid rock in one scoop. If nothing else, you could re-shape your island. I'd also like a pair of waterproof shoes and a laptop.

0110. When have you suffered at the hands of technology?

When I wired up a water pump incorrectly and put my hands on it, underwater. I got that zzt zzt sensation in a fairly powerful way.

0111. When has some technology suffered at your hands?

I have pounded an old Apple keyboard to a form of plastic aggregate when the stupid thing wouldn't stop printing j's. jjjjjjj for page after page.

1000. If you had to revert and freeze the world's technology at a
particular time in history, what year would you choose and why?

In about 1740, when the canal system in the UK was at its height. I'd like all other forms of technology to develop; medicine, airplanes, space travel, computers; just not cars and trains. Canals are very peaceful ways of moving things, and even with ten lane super canals, I think less environmentally damaging.

Robert Llewellyn

Visit Robert Llewellyn's web page.

1000 More Questions:

Kari Byron
Mythbuster

Robert X. Cringely
Tech industry observer

Margaret Easley
Actress

Susan Egan
Broadway, Film, and TV star

Robert Goerman
Paranormal investigator

Grant Imahara
Mythbuster

Anne Kerry Ford
Singer and actress

Robert Llewellyn
Actor, Writer

Holly McPeak
Pro beach volleyball player

Ted Nugent
Rock legend

Neal Pollack
Author

James Randi
Pseudoscientific demystifier

Lisa Richard
Tech exec turned singer

Michael Shermer
Publisher, Skeptic Magazine