Anne Kerry Ford
Edited by Brian Dunning
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Not many graduate from Julliard when they're only 20, and
none without good reason. Anne Kerry Ford began her career
in theater and quickly graduated to Broadway, where her list
of musical credits is so long that to list any part of it
is a crime of omission. Not that she's been limited to musical
theater: Anne also sang at a White House Easter party for
President Reagan, and for Itzakh Shamir at Israel's 40th
birthday.
On the big screen, Anne played Dudley Moore's wife in Lovesick, and
also appeared in Clean and Sober with Michael Keaton
and in Peter Weir's Fearless. But she is a singer
at heart, and has dedicated much time to the music of the
late Kurt Weill (The Three Penny Opera). In July of
2003, the World Art Celebrities Journal voted Anne one of
the top 25 American cabaret & concert singers. Judge
for yourself - check out her CD's In
the Nest of the Moon and Something
Wonderful.
And now, with a harsh desk lamp in her face and the interrogator
putting 1000 Questions to her, Anne Kerry Ford sings like
a canary:
0001. In all of history, what is your favorite invention?
I am partial to clean laundry, anytime, all the time,
so the clothes washing machine would have to be high on
the list of favorites. (Also, I live rather far from a
stream or river...)
Also, bravo to the invention of sunscreen.
0010. What do you hope will be invented next?
It would be great if someone could come up with a way
to transform garbage into fuel. Not just SOME garbage,
but all of it! That would certainly solve a lot of the
world's problems right there.
On a lesser note, it would also be nice if there could
be a gizmo that you attach to your phone that would punch
all the right buttons to get you through to a real live
person on the end of the line, then ring you back when
you have been connected.
0011. What would you un-invent if you could?
BIO-ENGINEERED FOOD...BAD IDEA!!!
And, well, TV. Not that the concept of TV in itself is
bad, it just seems to have gone astray from the original
concept of "bringing arts and entertainment" into
the home. Obviously, the programming has been lowered (in
most cases) to pander to the masses and has very little
to offer that is truly uplifting or interesting or educational.
Today people depend on TV to decompress from the stress
of our society, as a result, our society is more anti-social.
The performing arts have also suffered because audiences
don't go out as much.
TV, with all of its amazing potential, has become a societal
ill.
0100. What popular invention do you consider the most
ridiculous?
Seat warmers in cars. Maybe they are great if you live
in Montana, but does a Californian like me really need
a seat warmer?
0101. If marooned on a desert island, what three technological
devices would you bring with you, and why?
Probably a short-wave radio, so I would feel connected
to the rest of the planet; a fishing rod, so I could eat;
and a luxury yacht, so I could leave.
0110. When have you suffered at the hands of technology?
Pretty much all the time!! I think telephones are imposing,
and whoever invented "call waiting" should be
shot. Ditto for cell phones...do people really need to
be able to reach each other 24/7?
And e-mail! Being able to write a quick little note to
someone sounds like a cool thing, but I spend countless
hours deleting unwanted e-mail. It has become a nightmare.
And the dependency on e-mail is ridiculous. If my computer
goes down and I can't get my e-mail, I freak out! What
if something important came in for me? (AS IF!!!)
0111. If you had to revert and freeze the world's technology
at a particular time in history, what year would you choose
and why?
Probably, just before the atom bomb was invented. People
had figured out most of the important things that make
life easy and comfortable, but we hadn't crossed that line
towards "weapons of mass destruction".
1000. If you found yourself sitting at a Unix terminal
as Earth's last hope while, outside, aliens were wiping
out humanity, what would you type?
Well, this is it. Although the aliens seem to be behaving
rather badly, I am still convinced that the Universe and
its inhabitants are basically good, despite the occasional
neurotic upheaval. OM MANI PADME HUM.
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